One month tomorrow I go to panel – an absence of crises, hold-ups, last-minute problems or sudden worries emerging from my Social Worker or her manager permitting. I know. One month today. As per my last post, sometimes Time is a strange and wondrous creature indeed.
Pondering on this slightly unbelievable fact today, it seems worthy of some kind of recognition.
I have decided, therefore, that every single day for the next month I will do two things: one that contributes actively and consciously to my now, and one that contributes to and builds actively for my future.
There was recently a discussion on Twitter around what those of us going through the waiting, assessing, learning and hoping process should do as a “Pre-Adoption Bucket list”. Credit where it’s due: two of my co-travellers have already blogged entertainingly their own takes on this, namely Adopting Mummy and Another Mountain; meanwhile the exchange on Twitter, which involved contributions from journey companions with all levels of experience, had me nodding and laughing in recognition. (The sober, boring side of me also carefully noted the more serious comments from experienced adopters, as ever a guiding light and source of hope (and trepidation/awe) to those like me treading in their footsteps. Always trying to learn, me!)
So; my plan for the Now bit:
Rather than blogging about what I *should* do I am resolving instead to make sure I do in fact *do* something every day. That might be enjoy using the snooze button my alarm clock; or reading on the sofa; or talking to a friend. Things that let’s be honest are currently pretty easy. The difference is that I will make an effort, every day, to make sure I consciously enjoy and savour one of these small privileges I currently take for granted. After all I am only too aware that sleep and silence may both in the future be commodities so precious mere gold would be but the dust and sweat expended in the handshake of any purchase. I am very happy that by investing in my now, I am of course also investing in my future, and that each time I remind myself to appreciate the good in the every day small wins, I am also building my capacity to be resilient and strong and appreciate the small wins in the future. In less highfalutin’ terms … yes I do plan to have a ready-made excuse for unwisely drinking that extra glass of wine!
Anyone who knows me will be aware that currently I am, let us say, single minded in my topics of conversational choice. One could possibly view the multifarious discussions I initiate, which range from parenting, matching, paperwork, social workers, adoption books, trauma, child development, tv documentaries on adoption, panels, FASD, and therapy; to personal finances, parental leave, cortisol and childcare options; as wide-ranging. I suspect my (hugely tolerant, loving, supportive and good-humoured) friends and family may beg to differ!
However, despite this – let us call it *focus* rather than *obsession* shall we? – this *focus*, I am not always as good at remembering to use my time wisely and thoughtfully.
So the second part of my plan for the next month is that every day I will do one thing that in some way, again however small, contributes actively and consciously to building or preparing for my Future. I do also of course recognise that by investing in my Now I am also investing in my Future. So a double win I hope!
Here’s to the #30DaysChallenge
So there you go. I have one month to approval panel. 30 days.
I have not decided yet if I will blog my way through this. I suspect maybe that would be boring for all and distracting for me. But we will see. I do think, however, I will do my best to microblog my way through via Twitter.
So here’s to my plan to consciously and actively undertake #30DaysInvestingInNow and #30DaysForMyFuture. Here’s to the #30DaysChallenge!
Wish me luck, gentle readers!