Today was one of those days when I look at my life as it is, and I wonder how on earth the future as I hope it will be, is ever going to work.
It was a non-stop day.
Up early, I was sorting recycling before breakfast then out the door for the train. Work was full-on. I got to spend time with some great people – but starting early and finishing late, with demanding workshop sessions throughout, meant that by the time I was sitting on the train home trying to catch up with emails I was fighting over-tiredness and feeling somewhat drained.
Choir rehearsal loomed this evening, and despite walking back into the house after I should have left again, I managed a change of clothes, a glass of water, a rudimentary sandwich to eat while driving, and dashed out the door to town, arriving only about 4 minutes late in the end. Not too bad really!
I did consider collapsing on the sofa instead, but despite rather too much yawning as ever singing did bring me back to life, and rehearsing Christmas songs is a sure-fire way to make me smile. (We even remembered some from last year which was surprising. At this rate we’ll start to merit our name as a choir if we aren’t careful!)
Eventually I am home. Toast consumed, Twitter scanned through, space stared into. And I have a blog to write of course.
I am exhausted.
I know work was unusually tiring today. I don’t always have to put out recycling. Choir rehearsal is only once a week.
Even so, I look at today and it makes me wonder how I will ever adjust to the new life I am hoping to live when a small dependent person would need to come first through it all. If I’d had to get a small person up, dressed, fed, out and doing things, with clothes and lunch and who knows how much stuff, and then home and fed and to bed, and then more laundry, more housework you name it.
Hmmm. It is going to be hard! I realise there are many out there among my Twitter buddies, and among my many friends and family, whose daily lives combine all sorts of commitments and demands. Each of them may well look at my day and wonder what in there gives me the right to feel exhausted!
And so I look back at my day again. And I realise, as so often, that while I am looking forward to my future with hope and optimism (and no small degree of impatience, let’s be honest!) I really do have so very much still to learn!